From parental amalgam to Parental Mosaïc
This concept is one of the very first psychological tools that emerged from my research work. The general approach is based on the principle that no situation is problematic in itself but that it is rather a lack of preparation of the person who lives it, which can lead to a state of ill-being. In situations perceived as negative, the objective will be to find the right perspective to see this situation in a new light so that it becomes useful and helping in the evolution of the person. This can represent, depending on the situation, a real challenge for intelligence.
The parental mosaic fits into this perspective, emphasizing a fundamental aspect: the notion of "parent". This concept offers a new look at the negative memories of the past, emphasizing as problematic, not the drama itself, but rather the lack of strategies in the face of a particular context, which this drama or these dramas reveal. The goal will no longer be, with this vision, to remove the negative memory of the past but to seek the missing strategy that can solve the problem. For that, it will be a question of finding the support allowing the acquisition of this new strategy: "the adapted parent".
Finding the parent we need means being able to learn how to handle a situation that was still problematic until then!
The major impact of parents in the development of a being is a commonly accepted idea in the psychological world. A classic phrase repeated is that: "Everything is played before the age of 6 years. "Some researchers go so far as to say that the 27 months which surround birth are the most decisive in the psychological construction of the individual.
That said, although it is clear that what the parents print to the child is powerfully constructive for him, is it possible that what the parents are not able to give him may also be important to consider ?
It is essential to understand that a human being has needs that his biological or foster parents cannot fully meet. We all have different structures, and what works for one doesn't work for the other. However, doing their best most of the time, especially in childhood, there will be a conflict between what he actually receives and what his parents believe or would like to give him. It’s the parental mix; projecting all of these needs, physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, onto our biological or foster parents. The parental mosaic is a response to this limiting subconscious behavior.
It is humanly difficult to admit, when you do everything you can for your child, that it cannot be enough!
It is not a case of suing the parents, but rather of highlighting a reality which for many represents a real taboo. How could it be acceptable to complain to those who are sacrificed for us? Is this not a lack of gratitude and recognition towards them?
It is this inner tension, conscious or unconscious, which leads the individual to accept what is given to him as normal and sufficient and to gradually extinguish this perception of lack, a perception which had the role of pushing him to find new resources in order to be fully accomplished thanks to them.
We could give the example of the baby who cries as long as he has not received what he needs. It will not be enough for his parents to just try to meet his needs, they will have to succeed for the baby to calm down. Later these needs will manifest themselves on other planes and it is there that the attitude of the parents can manage to minimize these needs until making them disappear in the consciousness of the child. In adolescence, it is often the last chance to express, often very awkwardly, what you feel, what you would like, your impulses, your dreams. Then, with the burdens of adulthood, these more subtle needs are erased and are forgotten before the seemingly real-life weights ...
Later, sometimes after burnout or depression, separation or illness, these basic needs can resurface.
Why wait to get there? Let us rediscover our forgotten needs as soon as possible, by readjusting our relationships with those who have been vital benchmarks for us and who may have let us think, unconsciously of course, that what we received was enough! Then let us rush towards those who can and already meet our needs in order to fully manifest ourselves as we are!
Don't we need a village to reveal our total dimension ?!
This concept is based on three points:
The importance of the parental footprint
The development mechanism by imitation
The different dimensions of the human being
Exercise: Build your mosaic parental tree in which is:
- biological parents and their lines, support of your incarnation
- foster or sensory parents, support for the development of your body and your sensitivity
- emotional or vocational parents, support of your emotional structure and your socio-professional impulse
-the intellectual or philosophical parents support your model of reflection and your understanding of the world, of the beings around you and of yourself.
-the spiritual parents, support of your conscious spiritual connection
note: There are people in your life who can play multiple parenting roles, that's to be expected! for example, most biological parents are also foster parents.